an ode to my ukulele.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned it yet, but this year I found my soul mate. Or at least if an inanimate object can be a soul mate, well then I have found that.
I bought a guitar back in the day, but I've always been more of a 'one note at a time' kind of girl, and just like my six years on the piano, I was also horrid at guitar. I just couldn't move my fingers that way, so I essentially quit, and left it to gather dust in my room, making me look much cooler than I actually am to anyone who didn't know how horrid at guitar I was. This year though, I fell in love (a few times really, but we won't get into all that...) with a wonderful musician, Ingrid Michaelson.
This fall, after my heart broke wide open, I was a mess for what felt like a long time. For someone who is known for her cheerfulness, I've dealt with depression quite a bit. The strong life condition that I have built for myself started to crumble. I couldn't make it through the day without bursting into tears at least once, I wasn't eating well and felt sick all the time. I felt the pull of self-hatred I know all too well and I let a lot of my responsibilities slip out of control. After about two months of being stuck in a downward spiral that my life had become, I went to see Ingrid in Denver and was inspired once again to find my own musicianship. I determined that guitar was not the way to do it, so I went to Robb's and bought myself a beautiful baritone ukulele. Perhaps the best purchase I've ever made. I had been chanting for help to pull me out of my fundamental darkness, and my ukulele came to the rescue. I was horrid at guitar but the uke came quickly and naturally (same amount of strings as you have usable fingers, much more logical). It instilled me with a sense of confidence in my voice and ability, self worth, that I had misplaced. For the next month or so I played four or five hours a day, and finally found the strength to face the world with calm and joy rather than anxiety and sadness. I had other help from friends, my sangha, and my wonderful life coach, but the ukulele was the extra thing I needed.
I've come to see that most people don't have enough outlets for joy in their life, and so I feel very lucky that not only have I found a new way to express mine, but also a reminder that I can never be without it.
May you find your own ukulele of life.

love,
Janey