Marley and Me

It seems appropriate as the year is coming to a close, and the lab movie is hitting theatres to share my own 'Marley and Me' story of 2008.

There have been so many dogs I have loved in my lifetime, and having spent ten years working at a humane society I think this number is higher than it is for most people.
This March though, I meet someone special. At 7:00 am this particular Sunday, I walked into the dog recovery ward ready to tackle yet another morning of poop scoopin' and spraying out kennels for the next three hours before we opened. I said hello to my new furry pals for this day but paused in front of kennel 93. Hung on the door was the familiar "Caution Dangerous Animal" sign but behind it I was surprised to see a big floppy golden doodle. I have seen many a scarred pittie or fierce chihuahua with such a sign, but on her cage it was out of place. However, she was crouched in the back of her kennel, alert barking at me and letting out a low growl. Two things which don't usually lead to a happy ending in a shelter, where tough decisions have to be made. "Oh stop being such a silly grumper" I said to her; "doodles aren't grumpy, no one believes you, miss!" and I tossed a few treats in front of her face. Throughout the morning, I kept stopping by to talk to her. She won me over quickly, and after four tries had stopped growling. My ninth try, she stopped aggressively barking at me and was creeping closer towards the front of the kennel to say hello. Three hours later, I broke the rules and opened up her kennel. The moment I touched the door, she ran to the back, but didn't growl. I crept in and knelt down so I wouldn't t intimidate her.
"hello, grumper-doodle!" I squeaked in my best dog-friendly voice. Suddenly, the shy girl's eye's light up and she bounded over to me, rolling on her back for a belly rub while wiggling in glee. I was sold. "I knew you couldn't be so mean.", I told her.

Later that day, I looked up her story. She had been a $1500 lawn ornament, an symbol of success and completion, rather than a family member, which explained her behavior in her kennel. I found out that she wouldn't qualify for our adoption center, and the behavior team had decided to contact golden retriever rescue of the Rockies to give her a second chance, rather than euthanize her. Because rescues are run out of individual foster homes, animals are much less terrified and stressed, and the aggressive stuff you see in a kennel goes away.

Three years before, I had rescued another golden retriever (Phin) from drowning in the Florida keys, and brought him back home to find his new life. GRRR had helped me then, and I had been listed as one of their foster volunteers. When a GRRR volunteer came to get her I found out that she was going home with Mary, the director, who already had over 15 foster dogs at her home. I jumped at the opportunity to take this girl, and for the next month she lived with me instead.

Marley's new mom is always convinced that I saved her, but in reality, Marley is the one who saved me. Never underestimate the power of an animal to open up your heart. With Marley's help, I realized how I had been tolerating a solitary life that in reality I detested. Like this sweet girl, my purpose in life is to always love and be loved a lot back. To be wrapped up in joyful affection and play, and spend considerable time snuggling. She and I are kindred spirits, my best friend of all the dogs I have ever known. In reaching out to help her during her own time of isolation and fear, I was also extending a hand to my own inner goldendoodle. The good karma of this act (combined with a lot of chanting) helped me finally surmount my own fear, welcome new love into my life, and witness my own buddha nature first hand.

So if you want to change your life in 2009, go foster an animal, I promise it will be worth your while.

love,
Janey

"First we'll make snow angels for a two hours, then we'll go ice skating, then we'll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse Cookiedough as fast as we can,...

... And then we'll Snuggle!"

Happy Christmas!

If you are thinking right now: "Why is she wishing me a happy Christmas? Christmas isn't a Buddhist holiday". Well, you're right. However, at an SGI meeting we discussed the concept of Zuiho Bini. Pretty much, it's a teaching of the Buddha that says that you should respect the traditions of the land you are in. So, I can celebrate Christmas after all.

This hasn't been without its problems though. Christmas and I have been on rocky ground for a while. I don't take heart break easily, and man oh man, did I used to believe in the magic of Christmas. I mean BELIEVE. So much so that I wanted proof. When I was ten, I crept into my Aunt Gracie's living room, only to find the adults stashing the 'Santa' presents. I tried for a year to ignore it, or pretend that I didn't know, but I had felt betrayed and suffered a sever crisis of faith. Its funny to look at this now, because in truth, it was my problems with Santa which sparked me to find a tradition of my own. I was eleven when I first started tagging along to my various friends church programs, but nothing stuck until I found the buddha-dharma. Even when I finally knew I was a Buddhist, it still took me, well, really until this year to start to like Christmas again. I had felt oppressed by the tradition which I saw as propagating the 'lie' which crushed my belief in magic, and refused to take joy in anything based on a lie.

On December 12th, I celebrated my first 'Buddha-Birthday'. My one year anniversary since I received my Gohonzon and officially became a member of the SGI. This has been a monumental year for me, and I have broken through barriers I have been struggling with for nearly a decade. Christmas is obviously one of them. Something silly started happening to me since thanksgiving. I have allowed myself to watch Christmas movies.

It started casually with Elf. I know, your thinking this is just Will Ferrall being silly. I thought so too, and then three quarters of the way I just started to cry. Not just a little bit, a lot. Big, sloppy tears of faith and joy, mixed with a little sadness at the suffering I had felt all those years. I stopped believing in Santa, and stopped believing in myself. This month I have cried not only after Elf, but also after The Santa Clause 1 and 2, Love Actually (which normally just depresses me), Home Alone (I mean, come on the lovely old man that Kevin comes to see for who he really is! ah!), Sleepless in Seattle (it does have a Christmas scene, I promise...), and most recently The Muppet's Christmas Carol. I also came very close to crying at work yesterday when people came in to make holiday donations to the homeless animals, and when one of our amazing volunteers told me she and her husband were spending all day at the homeless (people) shelter.

I can't say I have had the complete transformation of a former Scrooge, yet. Tonight when I walked home from my aunt's house it was dark outside, and it still felt like it was very dark outside. However, I think our challenge as beings is maintaining a sense of wonder and loving-kindness eternally. I'm going to go chant for some magic...

as Buddy the Elf says: "I love you, I love you, I LOVE YOU!",

janey