Marley and Me

It seems appropriate as the year is coming to a close, and the lab movie is hitting theatres to share my own 'Marley and Me' story of 2008.

There have been so many dogs I have loved in my lifetime, and having spent ten years working at a humane society I think this number is higher than it is for most people.
This March though, I meet someone special. At 7:00 am this particular Sunday, I walked into the dog recovery ward ready to tackle yet another morning of poop scoopin' and spraying out kennels for the next three hours before we opened. I said hello to my new furry pals for this day but paused in front of kennel 93. Hung on the door was the familiar "Caution Dangerous Animal" sign but behind it I was surprised to see a big floppy golden doodle. I have seen many a scarred pittie or fierce chihuahua with such a sign, but on her cage it was out of place. However, she was crouched in the back of her kennel, alert barking at me and letting out a low growl. Two things which don't usually lead to a happy ending in a shelter, where tough decisions have to be made. "Oh stop being such a silly grumper" I said to her; "doodles aren't grumpy, no one believes you, miss!" and I tossed a few treats in front of her face. Throughout the morning, I kept stopping by to talk to her. She won me over quickly, and after four tries had stopped growling. My ninth try, she stopped aggressively barking at me and was creeping closer towards the front of the kennel to say hello. Three hours later, I broke the rules and opened up her kennel. The moment I touched the door, she ran to the back, but didn't growl. I crept in and knelt down so I wouldn't t intimidate her.
"hello, grumper-doodle!" I squeaked in my best dog-friendly voice. Suddenly, the shy girl's eye's light up and she bounded over to me, rolling on her back for a belly rub while wiggling in glee. I was sold. "I knew you couldn't be so mean.", I told her.

Later that day, I looked up her story. She had been a $1500 lawn ornament, an symbol of success and completion, rather than a family member, which explained her behavior in her kennel. I found out that she wouldn't qualify for our adoption center, and the behavior team had decided to contact golden retriever rescue of the Rockies to give her a second chance, rather than euthanize her. Because rescues are run out of individual foster homes, animals are much less terrified and stressed, and the aggressive stuff you see in a kennel goes away.

Three years before, I had rescued another golden retriever (Phin) from drowning in the Florida keys, and brought him back home to find his new life. GRRR had helped me then, and I had been listed as one of their foster volunteers. When a GRRR volunteer came to get her I found out that she was going home with Mary, the director, who already had over 15 foster dogs at her home. I jumped at the opportunity to take this girl, and for the next month she lived with me instead.

Marley's new mom is always convinced that I saved her, but in reality, Marley is the one who saved me. Never underestimate the power of an animal to open up your heart. With Marley's help, I realized how I had been tolerating a solitary life that in reality I detested. Like this sweet girl, my purpose in life is to always love and be loved a lot back. To be wrapped up in joyful affection and play, and spend considerable time snuggling. She and I are kindred spirits, my best friend of all the dogs I have ever known. In reaching out to help her during her own time of isolation and fear, I was also extending a hand to my own inner goldendoodle. The good karma of this act (combined with a lot of chanting) helped me finally surmount my own fear, welcome new love into my life, and witness my own buddha nature first hand.

So if you want to change your life in 2009, go foster an animal, I promise it will be worth your while.

love,
Janey

"First we'll make snow angels for a two hours, then we'll go ice skating, then we'll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse Cookiedough as fast as we can,...

... And then we'll Snuggle!"

Happy Christmas!

If you are thinking right now: "Why is she wishing me a happy Christmas? Christmas isn't a Buddhist holiday". Well, you're right. However, at an SGI meeting we discussed the concept of Zuiho Bini. Pretty much, it's a teaching of the Buddha that says that you should respect the traditions of the land you are in. So, I can celebrate Christmas after all.

This hasn't been without its problems though. Christmas and I have been on rocky ground for a while. I don't take heart break easily, and man oh man, did I used to believe in the magic of Christmas. I mean BELIEVE. So much so that I wanted proof. When I was ten, I crept into my Aunt Gracie's living room, only to find the adults stashing the 'Santa' presents. I tried for a year to ignore it, or pretend that I didn't know, but I had felt betrayed and suffered a sever crisis of faith. Its funny to look at this now, because in truth, it was my problems with Santa which sparked me to find a tradition of my own. I was eleven when I first started tagging along to my various friends church programs, but nothing stuck until I found the buddha-dharma. Even when I finally knew I was a Buddhist, it still took me, well, really until this year to start to like Christmas again. I had felt oppressed by the tradition which I saw as propagating the 'lie' which crushed my belief in magic, and refused to take joy in anything based on a lie.

On December 12th, I celebrated my first 'Buddha-Birthday'. My one year anniversary since I received my Gohonzon and officially became a member of the SGI. This has been a monumental year for me, and I have broken through barriers I have been struggling with for nearly a decade. Christmas is obviously one of them. Something silly started happening to me since thanksgiving. I have allowed myself to watch Christmas movies.

It started casually with Elf. I know, your thinking this is just Will Ferrall being silly. I thought so too, and then three quarters of the way I just started to cry. Not just a little bit, a lot. Big, sloppy tears of faith and joy, mixed with a little sadness at the suffering I had felt all those years. I stopped believing in Santa, and stopped believing in myself. This month I have cried not only after Elf, but also after The Santa Clause 1 and 2, Love Actually (which normally just depresses me), Home Alone (I mean, come on the lovely old man that Kevin comes to see for who he really is! ah!), Sleepless in Seattle (it does have a Christmas scene, I promise...), and most recently The Muppet's Christmas Carol. I also came very close to crying at work yesterday when people came in to make holiday donations to the homeless animals, and when one of our amazing volunteers told me she and her husband were spending all day at the homeless (people) shelter.

I can't say I have had the complete transformation of a former Scrooge, yet. Tonight when I walked home from my aunt's house it was dark outside, and it still felt like it was very dark outside. However, I think our challenge as beings is maintaining a sense of wonder and loving-kindness eternally. I'm going to go chant for some magic...

as Buddy the Elf says: "I love you, I love you, I LOVE YOU!",

janey

A Bright New Day!

Congratulations America!
I can't help but still be brimming over with love!

We are going to be OK.



Today was a testament to my smile, which could not be helped.
I grabbed lunch at 'VG burgers', the veggie place on the way to my life coach's house.
There were two guys in the whole place, and I ended up having a wonderfully deep conversation with both of them.
On of the gentlemen told me about a raw food resturant he was opening downtown which is completely based on donations. They serve you food, and then you pay based on how much your heart tells you to. In other cities people have been very generous, and he hopes that in Boulder he will able to reach and feed our homeless community.
It was so wonderful to see other people enhancing our world using a combination of compassion, joy, and creativity. We are out here, and I know it can be done.



If your like me, maybe we can just hug and smile our way to a better future?

May your love bring peace to the world,
janey

History in the Making, or the wonders of esho funi

Happy Election Day!
I find it odd to realize that a particular day can have such an impact on the direction of my life. If there ever was a day, today is it.
Such questions as: "Will I need to apply for citizenship in Britain when I get there?" and "Do I have any faith in humanity, and the American people (en masse)?" will be answered.

I am certainly optimistic, but certainly not certain that tomorrow will be a bright new day for America. When Kerry lost in 2004, I was crushed. Sob-in-public-and-get-tattooed kind of crushed. Though I have no doubt that similar tactics were used then as in the 2000 heist, it is still frightening that we as citizens allowed it to even be that close.

Shakespeare once said that "Action is Eloquence", this is one of my favorite quotes. As citizens it is so so so important for us to get off our couch, turn off the tv and be in the world! Discuss, Love, Play, Create, and Serve! Unfortunately however, under the current republican reign many Americans are just trying to survive, placing such ideals out of reach. How can anyone have the energy to volunteer when they work two jobs and have a family to care for? If our democracy has any hope of flourishing, we must make sure our citizens are well cared for. That our positive rights are fulfilled. That we have health care, quality education, toxin-free food, and energy that doesn't destroy our planet (and make my asthma worse). Then democratic participation and a return to active party loyalty should be inevitable.
"Yes We Can" have such a world under Barack Obama!

But what can we do if the worst happens (eg. McCain)? If our rights are stripped away from us, the middle class crumbles into depression, our planet falls into a rather toasty and polluted disarray?
To answer this question, I turn to Esho Funi. The principle of Esho Funi states that our internal (or spiritual) environment will be reflected in our external (or action based) environment. If we are able to heal our hearts and clean up our minds, then the world will follow. If enough of us practice kindness and compassion in ourselves our country, economy, society, and natural environment will improve. Our world can only be as clean and healed as we are.
So if we feel that we are not able to escape the drudgery, we all can at least take a seat and take a breath.

I'm still going to strive for an internal graceful practice and fierce activism, and am ever thankful that I am in such a position where I can make this choice!

Love (especially to Barack!),
Janey

You and I

Don't you worry there my honey
We might not have any money
But we've got our love to pay the bills

Maybe I think you're cute and funny
Maybe I wanna do want bunnies do with you if you know what I mean

Oh lets get rich and buy our parents homes in the south of France
Lets get rich and give everybody nice sweaters and teach them how to dance
Lets get rich and build a house on a mountain making everybody look like ants
From way up there, you and I, you and I

Well you might be a bit confused
And you might be a little bit bruised
But baby how we spoon like no one else
So I will help you read those books
If you will soothe my worried looks
And we will put the lonesome on the shelf

Lets get rich and buy our parents homes in the south of France
Lets get rich and give everybody nice sweaters and teach them how to dance
Lets get rich and build a house on a mountain making everybody look like ants
From way up there, you and I, you and I

Lets get rich and buy our parents homes in the south of France
Lets get rich and give everybody nice sweaters and teach them how to dance
Lets get rich and build a house on a mountain making everybody look like ants
From way up there, you and I, you and I

(Ingrid Michaelson)

If you don't know Ingrid Michaelson, please make yourself aquainted!
My beautiful friend Meg got her new cd yesterday, and I borrowed it on my lunch. ahhh.
In preparation for this, Meg told me that while she was listening to it, she loved it so much, but also that she was struck that Ingrid IS my soul mate. I have claimed this in jest, but apperently it is true. At least I have found one, eh?

Service as Path (or why Nurses are Buddhas in disguise)

Recently, I seem to be faced quite frequently with how essential service is as a foundation of happiness and maintaining a bodhisattva life condition.

From a global perspective, this realization is terribly exciting and powerful. It has been said by religious academics that the buddha-dharma centered in America and the West right now could be the beginning of what would be considered the fourth turning of the wheel of the Dharma. First Theravada, then Mahayana, Vajrayana, and now perhaps American Socially Engaged Buddhism? It is exciting to think that my individual practice, and my Soka sangha could play such an essential part in this revolution. What is key to this new incarnation of the Dharma, is the emphasis on service. It is not a new concept in Buddhism, but I believe that service as The central practice could be.

What delights me is although this could be a lofty notion, designed as only an outlet and justification for miserable bleeding hearts like I myself have been, service for others, when combined with the knowledge that other service is also self service, can bring about a great and unshakable joy.

One of my favorite mantras when cleaning kennels at the Humane Society has become "cleaning up crap, cleaning up my karma". I repeat this to myself almost constantly though out our three hour scrub sessions, and because of it, I feel blessed and joyful in my work. In many ways, this has become one of my favorite parts of my job. It may seem odd, however it is rare that we are given opportunities for simple, humbling work. It also is one of the only things which really does the trick to take my mind off my own exhausting battle against fundamental darkness. Time left to think about myself and my life has become the real work, and service is the mental break I need to recharge my heart.

On a personal note, today has been a big day for my family. My uncle is died of cancer last night. And though I am peaceful with it because of my faith and distance (not created from this situation, but the mere fact that no one is close to everyone), this is an ending which will be very difficult and painful for many. I have never experienced a human death before, and it is odd how different it is from how we treat our non-human companions. I spent much of the day at the hospital, and later at hospice. There were times last night, where there were as many as ten people in his room, just listening to his mechanical gasping, wondering with each breath if it was the last one. Through this process, I was struck at what I can only describe as the greatness of the nurses who provide such care. I have not yet learned how to turn something as simple as my presence, into an act of service for another human being, especially in such an extended and gloomy situation. With animals, in many ways, we can do so much more to relieve their pain. Nurses must know something profound about the art of surrender, because besides the morphine, there isn't much you can do but be present with love. It is not easy to watch someone suffer from a position of helplessness, the strength they possess is admirable.


may you be peaceful,
may you be happy,
may you be free from suffering.

love,
janey

saying goodbye to a happiness that used to be

One of my lessons in this lifetime is undoubtedly impermanence.
It is one that has always been hard for me. As a little girl, I remember sobbing uncontrollably when my favorite aunt (who I worshiped) would leave at the end of a vacation. I find that I pretty much have the same reaction at 22 as I did then.

I have recently been practicing the art of creation. As an artist, a dreamer, and as a bodhisattva. In the past, I have cut all ties when a relationship or friendship stopped working for me. Though this hasn't been bad (and was certainly apart of my process) I have wanted to rise above needing to do this and maintain bonds and love, rather than destroying them.
Its rather funny when I think that one of the first real times I try to practice this is in the most difficult situation I can personally imagine.

I've realized that when steps have been taken along the bodhisattva path, steps away from my ego and towards compassion, the fundamental darkness, or the power of the 1st noble truth will try to pull one back. It seems that ego, combined with fundamental darkness creates the effect I can only equate to having a wounded and pissed orangutan tearing around my rib cage and beating up my buddhaheart. I know that this force, though it is living in me, is not me. I am trying to tame it, and turn ego into an ally, rather than my abuser.

Unfortunately, the only way I can see to do this is to drop the ties to old love. Rather than serving as a reminder of my interconnection, they have been strangling me. I know it is the right thing, because I am acting out of love for myself, and love for the future, but it pains me that I cannot find a way to also act out of love for him.
In saying goodbye, I feel like I must once again forget the beautiful nuances of the happiness I had found. I cannot hope for a return of any of it in the same way and it is this knowledge which at times makes me feel like I am melting into my bed. Unable to move towards new love. possibility. happiness.
However, as Sensei says; I will not be defeated. I will courageously advance.

I am so especially thankful to my wonderful and kind friends who's very presence help heal my heart. Buddhist or not, they are my Sangha, and I am blessed and proud to say that I take refuge in them.

may all beings be peaceful, may all beings be happy, may all beings be filled with compassion for one another.

love,
Janey

Sitting through the Pain

Since clearly entering the bodhisattva path this spring, I have been delighted to have proof of what a core of unshakable happiness really looks an feels like. It is something which, when I really think on it, will frequently move me to tears. Or cause me to look like a total crazy person, sitting in meditation with a giant smile on my face! I am inexpressibly thankful for this strength.

Unfortunately however, what no one really tells you about awareness and the path to buddhahood, is that once you set off on it, there is no going back, no matter how much it hurts and you want to. Once light has been shown on the truth, it seems to take on a bioluminescent quality all of it's own. Another reality no one tells you is how much (excuse me, but...) shit is going to be thrown at you, to try and trip you up. Every negative thought, emotion, desire, and experience of your entire life seems to decide that now is the ideal time to come out of the woodwork. Our fundamental darkness, for fear of being eliminated will fight back. It's worth it, but prepare yourself.

Frankly, I'm exhausted.

Most of the time this kind of spiritual work is done in a monastery, not in the real world with real pressures adding to it. There is an obvious reason for this, which is that it is really really really really really hard!

I have recently been practicing being a master of forgiveness. Though it is not quite the feat one might assume it is, it is a lesson challenging me.

One specific issue I'm dealing with is being faced with people who's behavior created such pain, and who's presence continues to spark it. While at the same time trying to create loving-kindness and whole heartedly forgive them.
Never liking to give in to the fear, and wanting to promote my own healing, ability to love, and forgive, I haven't shy-ed away from these stinging situations when they have presented themselves recently. Rather I am trying to find comfort and joy in their presence, even though such connection does not exist in the manner part of me wishes it did.

One such situation occurred this morning, and my strength eventually gave into the grief and sadness of it. I am so thankful that I was able to turn to my practice to help. I found myself sitting in the lower shrine room at the Boulder Shambhala Center (not my normal practice, but sometimes you need to be in public and my own sangha doesn't have a center in Boulder yet), crippled in child's pose in front of the alter as the sadness swept through me, fighting back sobs (as a result, I have certainly become a master of the cliche crying a single tear recently). Like all emotion, by not fighting it, grief quickly possessed my being and moved on. I was left with the desire to essentially emotionally vomit all over the person in question. Not out of unkindness, but to be open, honest, genuine and connect. Not to hide a single part of me, and somehow hoping that maybe all this vulnerability would fix everything. All thoughts born from a wounded ego and love of the status quo.

Through my practice, I have been fortunate enough to learn how to watch these thoughts without automatically claiming them as my own. After about five minutes, I realized the selfishness in what I wanted to do, that it was purging not sharing and could not create what I want.
Real power, grace and control comes from that quiet place, of realizing that I don't need to force grand vulnerability to achieve desires. If genuine intimacy was possible in this situation, it would exist already. My power comes from me, my big buddhaheart and is expressed most simply, without needing to be confirmed by an Other.

Not a bad afternoon of meditation.

So Much Love,
Janey

Drawings

Very much inspired by/ripped off from the dear Edward Monkton who's own drawings give me hope and joy.





Alas they might be a little too specific to my own life, and less universal than his are, but then I'm new to the creative

love
janey

The Mastery of Love

About six weeks ago, I finally read The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz.
My friend, sister of all things soulful, and succulent wild woman Anna recommended it to me. After seeing it on her coffee table for years, I cannot believe I have gone so long without reading it.
In all fairness, It is not anything I didn't know before. However the grace with which it is shared, and the fact that it is compounded into 100 or so pages makes it especially profound.
Ruiz is a member of a Toltec mystical tradition and was guided to share these teachings with the world.
The main themes are a focus on the duality of love and fear, which is something I have believed for a long time is the best way to view and understand our actions and our hearts.
Additionally, Ruiz makes the statement that we are ALL dreamers and artists. Though some of us may not realize it, or realities are our own doing and are a product of our thoughts. This doesn't encourage an overemphasis on control, or false arrogant notion that we can determine every aspect of life's course. Control is fear based.
Rather, this truth empowers the individual to live as the creator, the creation and the medium. Something, which in claiming my identity as an actress, has been quite inspiring.
In seeing our life as a dream which we paint with our views, thoughts, loves, joys, and sorrows, we are free to Create happiness and nourish the seeds of our buddhahood with the wisdom that they can grow into an infinite and unshakable buddhaheart.
This notion has been very meaningful for me of late. I am in the process of claiming my identity as an artist and creator. Along spiritual lines, but also incorporating external creativity as a strengthening manifestation of this. Artistry is something I have denied until now, and I finally realize that it because I didn't love myself enough, i didn't believe that anything I could create would be of value. What a waste low self esteem is, yet is is apart of my journey and I honor the knowledge.
Ruiz also introduces the concept that we are all innately perfect. Again something which has been discovered before, however what I loved is that he put it in the framework that we are all masters, and sometime masters of things which may seem negative. For example, in my life, I undoubtedly mastered self hatred. One can master anger, resentment, loneliness. And though we see those things as so negative, mastery of them is no less perfect, because one must master all of them before we can master Love, as the highest. Enlightenment, I believe could be seen as the mastery of love.
They say that there are something like 37 stages of bodhisattvahood. Perhaps each is a mastery of some of the good stuff. Self love, kindness, affection, grace, strength.
Right now I am practicing being a master of forgiveness. For something that is seen as so hard, I'm surprised at how easily it has come. I'm not there yet, so I'll tell you how it goes.

May you be a master of love and sweetness in your life,
Janey

a dreamy optimist

Edward Monkton makes me smile.


love,
janey

Kissing Cowardly Lions

I'm am concerned that I am getting stuck in a karmic pattern of loving scared men and I can't say I am fond of it one bit.

If there is one thing in this world I think is a complete waste of time it is having low self esteem. I could be considered somewhat of an expert on the matter and as someone who has made it to the other side, I would like to recommend that anyone struggling with this to knock it off. right now. seriously.
(I know, easier said than done, alas.)

Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of compassion for it. If you get a drink or two in me and then tell me about someone who doesn't like themselves that much, I have actually been known to cry.
Yes, self esteem issues feel complex and complicated and heavy when you have them, but perhaps the secret is also knowing that they are completely moronic! The catch twenty-two is that feeling bad about yourself is often the complete and only cause of the problems which you feel bad about! One of my greatest hopes for the world is that no one will waste their time and life and heart on feeling bad about themselves.

I have to say that NOT doubting yourself, or disliking yourself, or thinking that you suck is pretty much completely wonderful. However it is not without its problems, because not feeling bad about who you are will cause you to be genuine, warm, loving, mindful, kind, and respectful of others. Apparently if those 'others' happen to be part of the majority of folks who still don't believe in and love themselves, then you too may be "terrifying". argh!

This has happened to me twice in the past two months and it really sucks. Every being has more than enough reasons to love themselves, and attract good love into their lives. And once attracted, it is reasonable to accept this good love too! I know I should understand, but I find it hard to fathom why anyone wouldn't want that.

My friend said to me that he always thought that people like Gandhi and Mother Theresa secretly hated the rest of humanity because they just didn't get it. There is some truth in that. I don't think its hate, but when you are able to see the best potential and buddha nature in those who can't, it is certainly frustrating!
Can we all just recognize that we're wonderful, knock off the games, and have a fun and soulful time today?

If we can learn anything from the cowardly lion its that he had the heart the whole time. come on.

love (yeah, I'm not afraid to say it.),
Janey

Eternal Sunshine of a (not quite) Spotless Mind

My friend and life coach Jane Ellen Sexton once said to me that she believed that everything we do can be clearing. At the time, I didn't really understand what she meant by that but I think I get it now, and I very much like the idea.

Since April, I have for the first time in life felt that the action arc in my daily-ness could warrant a good cinematic reproduction later on (or at least a mediocre student film). This has been a rather drastic change for me as most of the previous 'events' along my path have been subtle, internal ones, often completely unobservable to the outsider. In the last three months, the change I have felt in myself both internally and externally has been distinct. There have been so many revolutionary occurrences, climaxing with an experience of kundalini shakti, a journey, a rather painful first shattering of tangibly existent love, and a realization of entering my bodhisattvahood all over about two weeks.

I think we underestimate how sad it is to end a relationship that was once directed towards love. The first week after, I was walking around with a boy-shaped impression in my energy. Jane Ellen helped me smooth it out during meditation and replenish what was lost in the initial shock of detaching (she's like spiritual Gatorade!). I have thankfully, been able to handle it with grace since then, but can't claim that I was over it in 48 hours.

Last night, I dreamed a lot. Not only that, but I remembered them which almost never happens these days. In my dream, I rehearsed what I would do and say if I saw him. In thinking of that I had a milestone when I woke up. I realized that I cannot remember him anymore. Sure, I can remember the facts of it all, I still know what he looks like. But when I try to recall what I felt like as his girlfriend, I can't. I can't will his voice to echo in my eardrums. I don't remember really what it was like to kiss him, or be held by him, to hold his hand, or what he looked like up close. Everything is very faint and fuzzy or else surprisingly blank. This bothered me for a little while. I felt a little like Dori, the fish from Finding Nemo, who when she loses Nemo gets upset, but then can't remember what she is upset about as she's crying.

I find comfort and a way to step forward in the Buddha-Dharma.

I found myself reflecting on a film I once saw on death practices in a Pureland Buddhist monastic community in China. What was fascinating about it was the length of the rituals. From the time the monk died to the time the nuns went through his ashes to find relics of enlightenment was well over a month of actively and ritualistically morning. So much of it was on a strict time scale because of their belief that it takes much longer for someone to leave their body and move on to the next life than just the moment their heart stops breathing. There are a few days at the end of cremation when people would stand guard at the stupa, and look for this monks spirit to be taken away by Amida, hoping they could see visions of him in the full glory of his Buddhahood.


Though my heart has not moved on into its next incarnation, I feel like it ready to do so. Since last night, it has shed the relics of this love and of him, leaving them to sparkle in the ashes as reminders of my strength and grace, and of the buddha nature that we all possess. And, at the same time allowing me to completely forgive any grievances or regret I have been holding on to.

Some day soon, I might examine all the relics, or I might not. But any discoveries I promise to relate.

may you love with a lion's heart,
janey

Janey and the Giant Peach.

I am fond of the question: "If you were a (blank) what would you be?".
When lost in thought the other afternoon, I realized my uncanny similarity to a peach.
If I were a fruit, I would be a peach. undoubtedly.
There are many reasons for this:
a. I bruise like a peach. Physically, yes, I always manage to be covered in bruises from running into kennel doors at the shelter, corners, etc. However this fact is also true about me emotionally. I am sensitive. logical and rational yes, but I get hurt. I get involved. I love. I am invested. I do not have a thick protective outer shell.
b. Peaches have nearly indestructible pits, and I similarly have a nearly indestructible heart. Yes, I bruise easily, however my center is strong. My Buddha nature is unshakable now. It is this center which gives me the faith to live with great courage and love. It allows me to role out of the safety of the fruit bowl, off of the table, and on to adventure!
c. peaches are magical. See James and the Giant Peach. I am not 'magical' magical, but my transformation into buddhahood, certainly feels that way sometimes.
d. Peaches are sweet but not overpowering, flavorful, and distinct but can also be rather subtle, and mellow.

In the title for this blog, not only did I take into account my resemblance to a peach, but also a certain mahayana metaphor about the realization of buddhahood.
One's buddhahood comes out of two sources, first of course is the seed (buddha nature) which grows its self into a tree (buddha), but often forgotten is the part of the tree, which pulls the seed into being.
I like the notion of this very much. I am now, all at once, the peach, the pit, and the peach tree. All of us are, really. I must say though, it feels grand to finally see this in myself.

Love
Janey

Once upon a time...

once upon a time there lived a girl named Janey who (without arrogance or pretension) came one spring to realize her own Buddha nature. For the sake of posterity, compassion, and the promotion of the liberation of all beings, she decided to share her lessons with the world in hopes that you will learn more quickly than she did, and live with soulful joy. And to never, ever forget that you are loved.